I’ve  had an obsession  with self actualization for a long time. At no point in time have i ever been what i feel should feel like myself. My biggest let down has been my nature. In its  simplest form it’s  the fact that i will post something on here and delete  it after a few days. I don’t  even have an  inflated sense of how many people read these and how important  they are, or that they change lives or whatever; i wish i could write to change lives, but this is the meaningless shit i can come  up with at the moment. Nevertheless, i am not too proud of them. 
These past few weeks however have taught me a lot. I won’t  say it’s  the new year change fever because i sincerely  feel like i was a rock under pressure and this was a long time coming. I’m  not a diamond, but i am better.

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